VI

Everyday, I sit in the Chestnut Tree cafe. I sit at my usual table in the corner and play chess with myself. i stare at the Big Brother poster in front of me and drink my gin. they released me from the Ministry of Love. I have my own life now. My own job, they even pay me better. I sit and drink the rest of my day away. Julia had once said that the Thought Police cannot get inside you. They can.

2+2=5

I saw her. i even talked with her. Some thing changed about her. She has a scar across her forehead and her waist is straightened. She is more quiet. She hates me. she said, "Sometimes they threaten you with something- something you can't stand up to, can't even think about. And then you say, 'Don't do it to me, do it to so- and- so.' And perhaps you might pretend, afterwards, that it was only a trick and that you just said it to make them stop and didn't really mean it. But that isn't true. At the time when it happens you do men it. You think there's no other way of saving yourself, and you're quite ready to save yourself that way. You want it to happen to the other person. You don't give a damn what they suffer. All you care about is yourself.'

Under the spreading chesnut tree
I sold you and you sold me...

I found out what kind of smile lies underneath Big Brother's mustache. A kind and loving smile.

I love Big Brother!