VI

Everyday, I sit in the Chestnut Tree cafe. I sit at my usual table in the corner and play chess with myself. i stare at the Big Brother poster in front of me and drink my gin. they released me from the Ministry of Love. I have my own life now. My own job, they even pay me better. I sit and drink the rest of my day away. Julia had once said that the Thought Police cannot get inside you. They can.

2+2=5

I saw her. i even talked with her. Some thing changed about her. She has a scar across her forehead and her waist is straightened. She is more quiet. She hates me. she said, "Sometimes they threaten you with something- something you can't stand up to, can't even think about. And then you say, 'Don't do it to me, do it to so- and- so.' And perhaps you might pretend, afterwards, that it was only a trick and that you just said it to make them stop and didn't really mean it. But that isn't true. At the time when it happens you do men it. You think there's no other way of saving yourself, and you're quite ready to save yourself that way. You want it to happen to the other person. You don't give a damn what they suffer. All you care about is yourself.'

Under the spreading chesnut tree
I sold you and you sold me...

I found out what kind of smile lies underneath Big Brother's mustache. A kind and loving smile.

I love Big Brother!

V

O'Brien heard my heart. He is frustrated. I am brought to Room 101. it is the room of fear. the rats are brought; the face mask attached; the levers released.
"Wait", I shout, "stop. Please stop. what do you want to know? what do you want?"

he says that I know what he wants.

IV

Weeks or months have passed. they have stopped beating me. I am being fed well. they think I am cured. But they have not touched my heart. my heart remains the same. I must keep it quiet so that they cannot hear it. my heart speaks the truth.

I have not betrayed Julia.




before the rats come to chew my face, i tell him to do it to Julia. I betray Julia. finally.

III

Arguing with O'Brien and having painful consequences.

I. AM. RIGHT. I. SPEAK. THE. TRUTH. I HAVE SENSE.

He says that I am the last man. I must be.



My body has deteriorated into almost nothingness. How could this have happened? No.

II

I have been beaten and tortured; my body broken down. I have been forced to give confessions both real and unreal. And threatened with more beating. I have remained sane.

i speak with O'Bien and he interrogates me while some white coat works over me. Overall, we have a pleasant discussion. Though what he speaks is the insanity of the Party. He says I do not believe in the truth. But I know I am right. I am sane and he insane.

Book Three

I

I am in the Ministry of Love but where, I do not know. What time is it? there are no windows and they have not fed me since they arrested me.

I am in a high- ceilinged cell full of murmuring people. Some proles, and others members of the Party. The Proles talk and the Party members remain silent. I hear about a room 101. what is room 101?

i am moved to another cell. I am alone until Ampleforth comes. Something he allowed in a poem was wrong. he is sent to room 101. Parsons is arrested! the stupid man was caught by his own spying daughter and he is proud. The large man is strange and disgusting as he uses the lavatory and clogs it. he is later removed. Other prisoners are moved to the cell and simultaneously removed. I have pitty for the rat faced man. Disturbed by the starving man with hatred in his eyes.

They've got O'Brien! The guard beside him crushed my elbow with his blungeon. it goes black.

X

The prole woman who sings outside our window everyday is beautiful. she is beautiful because despite the hardships of her life- she has persevered and remained exactly as herself. She is unchanging. A snippet of once was and should be that still exists. She is alive.

We are the dead...

It is finally happening!! They have come to arrest us. We die now. No!! They are beating Julia. Stop it! No, no! don;t crush the paperweight. How small and fragile the coral really is. It must be protected now that the glass is shattered. But is is crushed by a heavy boot. The boot of... Mr. Charington. Mr. Charington is a member of the Thought Police! And there was a telescreen behind the picture of the church all along!
No! No!

Here comes a candle to light you to bed,
Here comes a chopper to chop off you head!